day-old chocolate ¢*¢%$!

I apologize in advance if off-color words offend your sensibilities.

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One of my favorite comedians is Dana Gould. We listened to one of his routines after dinner, and it resonated differently tonight because of the economic history I've been reading all day.

Here is my transcript of an excerpt taken from tracks 10 and 11 of the comedy album Funhouse:

I have so little patience for these kids you see panhandling.

You know, there are homeless people ... there are helpless people ... there are people who need help, who should get help, who don't get help ... and then there are these kids!

They're teenagers, you know: punks, shaved heads, couple tattoos...

"Got any change?!"

And they all have have an ethic -- they all have their heroes: Trent Reznor T-shirts ... Nine Inch Nails ... Rage Against The Machine -- but have you noticed that none of your heroes are here? that Trent's not hanging out on the sidewalk today in front of the convenience store?

May-be ... HE'S AT WORK!

He's a professional musician. He gets paid money to sing "Fuck The System" to you!

He takes that money and spends it on other businesses, creating ... an economy! This basic exchange of goods and services is the backbone of the very system that you claim to not want to be a part of, so I can't give you my money. I'm not going to infect you with my ... dirty ... capitalist ... money! I'm not going to be the corporate snake that lures you out of the Eden-like paradise of sidewalk living.

You have $400 worth of metal hanging off your lip. Smelt it! You'll have a year's worth of quarters right there. Tattoos cost money: you had change at one point! You made a choice: Ham sandwich? or Eagle-with-a-giant-penis-on-my-elbow?

(You can download the entire album for free from Dana Gould's website.)