pard'
I enjoyed revisiting this post to www.DailyApology.com from a year and a half ago:
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
grab a partner, dosey doh!
posted by bkMarcus at 12:29 PMWhen I told a certain paleolibertarian blogger that my former partner and I had looked into online backup services when we were considering competing with them, he said, "partner? what are you a faggot???"
So I apologize for thinking the unmodified noun 'partner' ought to refer to someone you are in business with -- or at least someone with whom you are collaborating on a project -- and not be assumed to designate romantic partner or domestic partner.
I apologize that when people say "partner" to indicate a girlfriend or boyfriend, I want them to say girlfriend or boyfriend or at least be specific enough to say "romantic partner" -- as stiff as that sounds, it's not much stiffer than "partner" unmodified.
I apologize for supporting gay marriage just so that gay people will say husband or wife and not partner. (I encourage them to do so now, if it's applicable, and to stop feeling like they need the State to grant them permission!)
I apologize for noticing that the straight people who use the term partner to designate what was once euphamized as "significant other" are usually academics or leftists in the "public" (i.e., government) or not-for-profit sectors. I think this particular bit of language banditry is the result, among other things, of being so anti-business as to not know anyone actually in business and not caring about communicating successfully with such people.I apologize for being so insensitive on this issue, for not caring about all the complexities behind choosing contemporary non-sexist and non-heteronormative language. I apologize for being so sexist and heteronormative for believing that clarity of communication was easier before everyone undertook the value-neutralizing language-update game.
And finally, I want to apologize that this issue actually pisses me off when a healthier and more mature individual might just find it amusing and learn to adjust.
5 Comments:
I like "domestic partner," which has fewer syllables than "significant other."
I also don't mind "boyfriend," "girlfriend," "wife" and "husband." Or "lover." Or "special lady" or "special man," or "lady" or "man."
I agree with you about "partner" unmodified, though.
One thing I don't like is the idea of "gay pairage," where gays can be licensed by the state to be "pairied" but not "married." This seems to contain all the problems a libertarian might have with "gay marriage," and yet it just adds another lame term to the lexicon. It is just as much a slight against the anti-gay marriage people, and no concession to those whose whole goal is to have the state be neutral in regard to who can be considered "married."
Anthony, a friend of mine IM'd me this morning: "does this use of 'partner' still piss you off?"
And I replied: "Plenty. It's politically correct, anti-commerce, verbal thievery. It (a) concedes marriage to the state, (b) assumes a self-righteous unfamiliarity with the business world, (c) is largely based on PC prudery around the terms 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' .... It's basically asking the entire culture to shift to accommodate a particular subclass's hang-ups about both marriage and market."
I've been on both ends of this one. In Barbados, I mistook the use of the term partner, which denotes a close friend, to mean homosexual lover with some comedic results.
When I returned to grad school after practicing law for many years, I discovered to my horror that my tales of the adventures of my law partner and me had been interpreted as stories about our gay romance. Not that there would have been anything wrong with that.
I reckon context is everything. Partner is cromulent for members of a gay household since they are in a kind of domestic partnership. Marriage is akin to a partnership. Even in the corporate world, the use of the term partner is common and not entirely clear. When the general cousel uses it, he means a member of a legal partnership. For everyone else, partner can describe any number of business relationships, including vendor and buyer when they "partner" to complete a portion opf a supply chain.
I use "partner" sometimes, to denote my heterosexual domestic partner relationship. Why? Not because it's anti-commerce, or anything like. In my case, it's shorthand for "partner in life", and I use it when it is needful to be more technically correct than just calling my "other half" my husband, which is what I usually do. However, since neither of us is religious enough for any particular religious ceremony to matter to us, and neither of can see begging the government's permission to love each other, let alone allowing government to be a legal party to our relationship, (marriage license & civil ceremony), as being anything other than morally wrong, we've never been to see a preacher or a justice of the peace about the matter. On occasion, it's necessary to be more technically specific, in which case I use the term "partner".
We do happen to be business partners, too, if it makes you feel better--we own a tavern.
Heather said...
"We do happen to be business partners, too, if it makes you feel better..."
You know, Heather, it actually does.
Thanks for the comments.
Post a Comment
<< Home